We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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