uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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