When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
