This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
