dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
