Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
