Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i think i have two assholes
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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