dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
