Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
