Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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