just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
