I'm drive I can fine osifer
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
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