I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
