I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
