I just pynch a tree in the face
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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