saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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