Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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