Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
