The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
