I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
