Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
