shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize