bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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