Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
