She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize