How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
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We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
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Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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