and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
