we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize