But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize