i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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