fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize