Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
