he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I am naked and annoyed.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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