Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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