Me too!
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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