1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
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No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
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got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
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