youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I'm having to shit out rocks
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
