Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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