I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
it glows. i had to have it.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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