i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
