Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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