My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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