Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
