Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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