brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
