I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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