I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
