I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
