Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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