You're a womanizer and a bitch.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
