I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
