We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
She has the best kind of daddy issues
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
