So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
