Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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