theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
