it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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