Whod you bang
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
