My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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