well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
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Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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